I just lost hope on a girl

i have met a girl thru wechat , we have actually meet up , but she is like avoid me ,
although she talk to me a  little bit , and she wave to me hi and bye.

then knew she got boyfriend already ,

when i add her she approve , that time she say she is now single and she has gotten very hurt before

is fast she found someone she likes.

i keep chat with her and i feel jealous quite times ,

i put a high hope on her ,

i keep ask her does she like me , she keep say dont know ,

i want answer , up to a point i just want a direct answer ,

i dont want to further hope ,

she just keep refuse to say out ,

i told her if u dont say i will continue to chase u and not giving up ,

but she say dont force her,

last 2 days i say i feel she barely want to answer , barely want to entertain reply to me , show just answer my questions , i say i feel ur heart doesnt have me , i feel u dont like me ,
next day she doesnt reply me for full day ,


i put it as if she doesnt reply me , thats over , that means i have to start a hi or conversation then only she reply me ,

but after 1 full day , she reply on following day , she took handphone to school and she give  a message to me ask me how is it?

i think that finally she care about me , she really notice me,

today i finally ask her , does she like me , she again say dont know ,

i ask is it u treat me like just a normal friend and she say yes.

i finally got the answer , i though give up and i didnt delete / remove her because she really give me meet up with her ,

finally i post moment that i feel very sad , disappointed and angry

i saw her moment that , she say dont force me can !!!! dont force her she said ,

again she post another status that , if u keep force me i will leave my house and left ,

in my mind is i want answer and done ,

but i actually make her feel giving her pressure , 

i really really put a high hope on her , but in the end what i make her feel very pressure ,

i dont know if she say dont know means she dowan hurt me , treat me as 2nd option or what ,

i at a moment just want an answer and i just give up ,

I feel like slam my head on wall , i feel dizzy and feel want vomit ,

i also feel want suicide ,

i want cry retardedly , this is the closest thing to know a girl to me, we meet ,talk alittle and wave hi and bye ,

i feel like a little boy now , i feel want hide and close my head with blanket or something ............

i feel so scared , i feel scared to meet up with her ,

i feel so scared now , i feel so embarrassed ,

i feel like crying , i dont know what to do , i live for 26 years and i think i will back to an empty place ,
i thinking of dont know what to do with my life now , i dont know i want do what , i will be back to an empty and alone place , i will be back to a place where nobody no friend , no person to cry and talk to , back to my single and lonely and nothing place.

she post status that she is serious and dont force her , got people reply her ,

i feel scared , i feel scared like someone gonna know me and feel like someone will laugh and or beat me,

she still got boyfriend to rely to ,

i these day find job at jobstreet , find factory job like i used to work , just want got money to dating with her ,
keep thinking of want bring her dating one-to-one , watching movie ,

i plan to hire person to watchi over my pets , although i worry people will screw up my pets ,

i thinking of want have money can buy smartphone for her ,

and quit my shitty business ,

i put a high hope ,

now i am dropping down like from skyhigh ,

i dono what to do now , i am so scared , i feel cold and embarrassed , i just dont want go to the place we meet it is just dead embarrassing ,

i dono what to do with my business too , i just lost hope on everything , from excited , happy and confident guy when we meet and have a high hope ,

now i lose everything , suddenly i lost even my business i also blank i have nothing no mood to do ,

i will be single and i feel like i put in a place where i alone like i m at smk perai form1 last day got bullied and no teacher and nothing no person no friend help me , i feel helpless and scared now , i really want cry , i back to square one .

social media like facebook has changed

the time in friendster to know and chat with girls are different,

now girls are more like glamouring themselves in facebook than friend or chat.

80 percent of them will accept your friend invitation but wont reply u ,

but when u comment on their POSING picture ,then only they reply.

i notice most of them dont know that they are ugly,

now girls are more toward FAMOUS , GLAMOUR ,SHOWING OFF themselve.

nowaday they start only allow FOLLOW , the ADD FRIEND is removed from their profile.

GIRLs are different than before.......................

Now aday left those really bad looking or those who are very fat will accept your friend request and chat reply very fast.............

seems like there are only ugly person left.......................................................

i give up wechat and Facebook

hi there .

i want to say/write that i give up wechat / facebook .

the fact i use it for as an alternative way to know girl , or find a date.

but it turn out many people appove my friend request but they never reply me ,

so sorry to say normally those very obese people and those look not good reply me,

and they approve fast ,

after my study days  from secondary school to college ,  i feel like there is no more chance for me to know girls ,

i am 26 this year ,  i been using these social site since i am 18 or 19 .

there is hard for me to see/bump into girls that are my age , after finish schooling .

i try so hard in fb or wechat , been shortly quit these few times, today i announce that i have Give Up of
it.

i personally give up , i am also feel so fed up , i am tired of these ,

if i could rate myself probably is 7 / 10 ,

before  wechat  exist,  i been though of drive around or go around my taman area to say hi to girls ,

that is near in my area ,

but now got wechat , where i can search for a list of people live near me , from 100m to 4km ,

but all barely serious about me ,

with case of criminal around ,  i think is one of reason that they refuse to meet .

when i start working , few  months and have salary.

i drive around 10-20 km when i offday , just try to scout of girls , though of can know them ,

but i didnt manage , i think i tried too hard ,

i think i missed my chance in college and now i am getting older year by year , i think my demand already drop alot ,

right now my eyes still eying for secondary school girls , but the fact that i am 26 years now ,

I am not suitable for teenage girl an ymore , my eye cant recognise the girl my age , is it 20 something or 3x years old, sometime look young but old age , sometime look old but young age ,

i dont know what girl suits me , sometime some pizzahut teenage delivery person called me uncle ,
some kids call me uncle , sometime the parent say call me older brother ,

i also dont know myself .

now i will go all natural , if i go out to do or buy my things , if it happens it happens , if there is not happen to see any girl that suits me , just be  it , i am tired of doing too desperate ,

when i working time in factory i already know is hard to see girls ,i am youngest and i see all much older people only ,

i leave it to god , right now i know is 99% to me is not possible to know girl online ,

i leave it to god ,i feel that i got lesser notice and didnt got chance to bump to beautiful girls anymore that is around my age,

我很累了 ， 我放弃了， i still got my pets to care , i still gt my business to make it stable that is to earn 1k or more so that i can earn a steady living , then only i can afford dating and all .

I FEEL THAT NOBODY CARE MY FEELING , NO BODY CARE TO KNOW ME , NOBODY CARE TO SHARE A LIFE TIME TO ME , I FEEL THAT I AM WORTHLESS , i feel that nobody/no girl  value me , just now i went to mini market a girl (probably younger than me , looks (5/10 ) cashier , i though she is tauke daughter , but she call me hello , u see this counter is closed , u go to other counter , on that side , i never though there is 2 counter , actually there is far opposite site , this is first time i go there.


if i could earn 1k a month , i can take more things and eventually sell more and more and earn more and more things.

i have this thinking that , i will be single forever , is a long time i dont get the love sign/chemistry anymore ,
u will know if a person suddenly smile and shy towards you , and eventually notice you , is this sign i am talking about ,

i m 26 years old , i also curious about girl body , i am still a virgin , my friend got 2 girlfriend already , 1st aleady hv sex and when he is 21+ year old he got a 16 year old girlfriend , pretty , shothair and cute ,
this is a type i looking for , i feel jjealous , i envy him , until 1-2 weeks ago he called my house , i dont even dare to pick up the call , i feel so embarrased with myself , when i was 21+ i also hope to get a schoolgirl girlfriend , that time iw ork shift my salary was 1.7k not yet deduct epf and not yet count OT，

even that time i got money , i though want spend to girl also none i just keep it myself , never spend to run a business ,

even got money doesnt mean  i got gf , i also driving car ,                  haaaaaah    ,
i today i really want to give up ev erything ,

i was avoid everyone , i dont like school party , or sports day , i dont like college presentation and dont like college selling things class , i have done / avoid all these , but right now i finally avoid my best friend since 13 year old .

i am very sad of myself , my friend he is son of businessman , open a shop ,now got 2 shop and his son get a small factory , his son drive gen2 and now civic 1.8 , get gfs , no need to work for people and no need get scolded ,no need get criitic , no need get scolded , he failed his spm , that days before spm he went learn driving car , and failed his spm ,

while me , i want to cry time taking spm , and in college i study very hard to success ,

but in the end i go factory suffer , i feel very stress , while he gets everything ,

I feel very sad , depress, i remember the days he ask me out with him but he bring his gf sit beside him , i at back my sadness can be seen and my friend know look at center mirror , i dont know how sad it is .i am so frustrated with my life , my father keep thinking that i go earn my own money then can dating , eveything i do myself , just because he doesnt have anything ,

actually i feel fed up with my family , my self , i am ashame of myself , more and more days i no more confident to myself , i dont dare to feel proud or confident , because i have no money and i have no gf , i have no thing in my life , i been work 4 factory i am the youngest , no girl i like , prettier is married , left big and fat woman , i so sad that my face also sad and no confident , sometime i feel myself face is like those anti social people ,

my parents is no suppotive of me , i have older sister and mother mental problem now , my father always against me , i hate myself ,

i am so sad that i dont want think about girl , my heart feel like it is dropping everytime i think about it  ,,

when college i no confident because i no money , i no car , but now haiz i found is not money problem too , with my age now money is really a probblem to me ,

i have just uninstalled wechat , and facebook i woont add people anymore , no matter how hard i try , there wont be people start conversation with me and wont chat with me , i have change photo and acount feww time but it end up the same

I am just another unknown human in this world.

my car with me 7 years aleady , i never fetch a girl other than my mom and sister ,

my dream to fetch a school girl , or girl around my age happily and go to cinema /walk the malls , it just didnt happen , my dream is to fetch girl in car beside me , talking and joking happily inside car ,

it wont happen to me , since i have no partner i dont bother to go out much ,

SMS People again

Anyone who read this , sure know that ,

SMS alot of :-

---fong fei kei people ,( ffk ) ,
---unserious ,
----lowballers ,
----pretend pathetic
(been a guy want rm400 graphic card but sms ask for rm200 because it was for 'orphanage' ) ,
---stupid low offers ,  we earn just rm5-10 but the dude ask me to fork out / rugi for him..............
---ask the things that are barely related , they probably knew and didnt call (ask for car gps map download ,
hello , car gps without a gps software , like garmin or papago etc , without the legal license software , how to download map inside.
ask format stuck china tablet.

latest i receive a guy sms to me ,

he sms "computer desktop service? , no power "

my thinking is he mean he probably say his desktop want service and it probably cannot turn on .

the guy doesnt know how to respect me , suddenly no power he wrote.

i say yes , (computer repair service.)

he reply "can come" ,  that time was 9pm , and i just finish settle my regular customer pc.

i say can ,

then he ask me "kos berapa .  kedai buka berapa hari , pukul berapa sampai berapa? "

i not sure where he found my contact , i guess probably he pass by saw banner ,

since he ask me what time to what time , my blog ,site detail has written , he probably didnt see it
properly or in detail .

i dont bother to reply anymore.

u ask kos berapa , i never check yet , and u stingy or scared ,

it may be motherboard spoil , not "no power" .

the guy i dont bother reply him ,

then he sms again kedai buka bila , desktop tak boleh on......

i no longer want reply him ,

he then wont / dont / dont bother to CALL me ,

he so desperate until he use other number sms me , that ask me the products that i sold thru ads site ,
he clearly saw in website , and he still ask what time to what time ,

he can browse my item,

he use other handphone number sms me , later about 5-10 minute , ask / trace me ,test me,

he ask ini graphic card ada lagi ?

i dont bother , i knew is him,

then next day ,again a person sms me again , ask ini motherboard(i advertise) ada lagi a?

he clearly TESTING me ,

the FUCK is the person cant call and cant come , and cant read properly since i state in my site?

the guy is it MUTE or DEAF?

if mute or deaf please state.

the MOTIVE of this person is to check my SERVICING RATE.

i no longer want reply sms , i tried again and i want to say that , those who sms no serious , and crazy world ,
they are social isolation maniac.

business life

my parents dont trust business ,

keep ask me go to factory etc work , find job find job.

they are big spender , black listed of many credit card , take new card to pay existing card dept , until
counselling ,

my thinking , there are people that no need to work , and still earn ,

like dealer , sell thing / stock and earn money , except i doing repair and servicing also .

be a dealer , shop , boss basically u no need to work , and can earn money ,

my theory is not all people need to work ,

i am a fan of mma fights , u see they fight until bloody mess , some eye also need surgery , some boken hand or leg , need stay at hospital , previously i so obsess to do this ,

but then i realise diong business , got money , got earning , freedom , no need to do so many things ,
most important no need stay office 7-8am to 6-10pm.

i have no time to work , that is reason i choose to work myself , i have many pets ,
no want want to care that why i do this ......................................................................

too bad my customers are not much , some regular , some online buyer , some real life customer ......

my parents do not trust business , keep on ask me find job ,
my parents dont think of opening business , dont think of create a job for me , they dont have this mentality.
dont have thinking that want to /force us do their business , no business ,

is very stressful for me with my past experience ,

they think i should go earn my own money , his parents also dont left anything for them they keep say this .

can spend alot credit card until over spend , never save or left any money , hokkien word seng kai seng ho ,
attitude.

but never say their own attitude ,

i not looking for some 10,000 to million business,

i jealous of people , pet shop they got job to do for their son ,
my friend a tyre shop son, his son drive a civic , modify etc ,

right now my business almost 2 year is slow , but never eat egg every month ,

modal also not much to spin / turn  ,

limited stock , limited selling , repair also slow business , sometime have to bear cost to courier and if spoil i have to personal cover warranty , not everytime earn ,

i hoping to find other thing to do , i just hope to earn 1k per month which i earn mostly less than that ,and dont even close.

i want to do other business too , or find a home based job which is barely available , mostly is scam,
so in the end i surely trust there is no home based job , and i mostly think of other business earning way.

I am dissapointed , I have less repair / service work , although i have some regular servicing customer,

not i dont want to work , i just dont want to work in factory , i cant and wont stand have to stay in office morning until night , i cant make it , i keep pets and nobody want care , sometime i work till 10pm .

sometime i shift,

i wish to have more customers , and can earn 1k nett every month..................................................................

i also less confident with myself ,peopel think i am jobless because i buy thing / service car during working days (when less jam).........

sometime i also feel very stress with unknown people keep sms me asking alot of things , asking repair how much quote etc , some of them competitor just want track me , some just unserious , some just want to prank , i barely reply sms ,

sometime i have to cash on delivery with some unknown new customers at night , I feel scared too ,
i dont have a partner to do cash on delivery with me , my father too arrogant to help sometime .

sometime i do onsite service some 10km away , i also feel stressful , this is like doing a sales job , got some experience , FYI companny pc cannot simply format , sometime i also doubt whether i can solve it ?

but thank god all the while i am able to solve it ,

with my personal and company experience..................................................................................................

if one day i am more succesful and established , i dont mind let my children to run the show , if they be humble why not?

my parents just think of their own good way , keep saying to me to find job and thats it ,
not their problem thinking , until now my parents dont support my business , i support use my factory saving , and suvive with food money ,

but my father frequently want know how much i earn / charge ,

my father earn almost 10 k , while i live like a poor person , i also dont get BR1m because of my father earning , which i get nothing ,

i just hope can earn 1k every month ,or close to it ,  i just want to earning that more close can survive myself ........................

sometime i earn just 60-70 , sometime few hundred but no more than 500,

cheapskate customer

nego after nego ,after give discount they ask for even more.
keep asking best price thru email or sms ,

i have actually met people , keep asking for quantity price ,
when payment he pay for quantity price  ,but only pay for 1 unit ,
reason is because he want try 1 unit first ,

i tell 3 unit rm 270

1 unit rm290

he try his luck.he pay rm270 for 1 unit, he lied ,
i have to tell him again , finally he top up. this people are smart.

i not buying this trick again , i dont like to entertain quantity because normally the deal wont success.

another example is people tell they wanted to repair computer ,they give 1 unit first
asking for cheaper , because they want bring again  other unit,

i found out that all of them lied.

normally they are end user not factory they wont buy quantity dont fall for it .
factory are payment by term and we as dealer need to roll our own money so i not doing this,


many time quantity it wont happen , when i started got people try to scam me
telling me he from other state and he wanted 10 unit , he find me because is near to his client
and he want i take stock 10 unit projector about RM10,000+
but pay by term , his company is unknown , not a factory , just got his email domain and nothing else.

so if you are approach by some small unknown vendor company dont do it.
they not gonna pay cash /deposit , we took 10,000 stock if he dont want how?
u think the stock easy to sell this fast?

if u are approach by fumakilla , flextronics , well known company then u are not risking yourself.
to conman /scammer .

fake promise and lie

it is very frequent i met people .....

want order ,after stock come refuse to accept

dont want answer call or sms

many refuse to deposit , some bought and some give excuses not to take.

is a waste of stock take money , the stock supplier wont return cash back

many people keep tell me go to this and that place to deliver stock , arrange pickup

promise this day next day , but in the end i prepared everything they went missing .......

i very frustrated , i have promise not to deliver , 

just i receive one call from malay lady asking me to drive to nearby town , the next day , but i prepare and wait ,whole day not even a call , 

now i am very strict , all order must deposit and I wont do personal delivery or pickup repair anymore. 

there is once i met accident the place i not familiar , in the end got some racist come kick my car 

and insurance and summon i receive alot more than the amount i earn.

stupid deal , 

we cant predict the customer is genuine or not , let just let them give action/come first , not i wait for them.

even when they come also still doesnt seal the deal .

u should only excited and happy when they paid and receipt is given ,